~ Our Bug's Life ~

HaPPy 4 MoNTH BiRTHDay!

2010-08-03T00:02:00.000-04:00

Augustus celebrated his 4 month birthday at a Gaelic Storm concert at Celtic Fest. We took him over to the Sherrer/Chambers residence for a nice pre-fest cookout and then to the fest. He slept most of the time we were there. He tends to sleep through things quite often. When the concert started he wasn't too happy. He doesn't really care for loud noises and the clapping was just too much for him. We watched from a distance and danced on the patio. He still had fun.

Today he went in for his 4 month check up with Dr. Kamdar. His new nurse Michelle weighed and measured him....our little Bug is growing fast. He was 24 1/2" long and 16 lbs. 10 oz.! Dr. Kamdar called him a little Roly-Poly and he cried. She said it must have hurt his feelings. :( She then said he will be a football player. He liked that compliment. After all the mama-doctor talk he was due for his shots. Not fun. Augustus started working the charm on his doctor when she was talking about his shot schedule. He smiled and giggled...she told him "You are not supposed to flirt with your doctor!" and laughed. Then she told him it was a nice effort but he was still getting his shots...lol! I love his pediatrician. She is just the best. She always makes us feel at ease and answers each and every question fully. You never feel rushed like at the regular doctors office. She's a very sweet woman. And A-Goos-Goos (as she calls him) loves her also. The big surprise was his teething...we know he is drooling alot and chewing everything in site includes his hands and our hands but she said that he will probably start getting soon...oh dear God help us! We've stocked up on the Hylands so we should be all good!

Luckily his cousin Kerigan is visiting from Connecticut and he had her with him to keep him calm for his shots. She played with him until the moment came and then she no longer wanted to be there. She couldn't bear seeing him get his shots. Dr. Kamdar let her pick out a sticker while the nurse and I prepared him for his shots. He was a total trooper this time around. No tears!! Which was really awesome because usually I leave the room and Cole holds him while they give them to him. But Cole wasn't able to come this time so it was just me....and the nurse with the needles. 1 oral vaccine and 2 pokes later - surprisingly we still had a happy boy.

He's doing well and growing big and strong. We are going to start cereal in a bowl with a spoon to get some practice in. Then, next month we will start his purees'. I'm pretty excited to make those. It will be basic first...greens, then yellows, then fruits etc. She gave me a schedule of foods and when to start them. He is getting so big already I cannot believe I am even thinking about purees' yet. But they grow...that's the way it works. Size 3 diapers, 3-6 month clothes and purees' already.....wowza.

Two Peas In A Pod!

Tubby Time!

THaT'S JuST HoW i RoLL!

2010-07-22T23:49:00.004-04:00

Augustus is learning how to roll! We clapped and shouted "Yay" ~ maybe a little too loud because he cried after! None the less, our boy is growing and has met a milestone...THE ROLL-OVER! I've tried catching it on video but he senses Mama is trying to do something important and stops! But the first roll was accomplished with great success and we will catch one in the future I am sure.

Chatterbox Drool Monster!

2010-07-15T16:25:00.000-04:00

Augustus is now ALREADY 3 months & 2 weeks old. I know, I know - he's going to grow - that's how it works. But wow is it going fast. It seems like yesterday I was rubbing my belly and talking to him while he kicked. Now I am singing "Itsy Bitsy Spider" (one of his favorites) and "You are my sunshine" at bedtime!

One thing we've noticed is how many nicknames the poor kiddo already has! We're going to have to work on narrowing them down or he's not going to know what his real name is! So far: Bug (mommys favorite), Gus, Auggie, BUGustus, Mr. Baby (daddys favorite), the handsome guy, Ah-goos-goos (how his pediatrician pronounces his name), poops-ma-goops, Augustus Gloop Isaac Newton Niswonger, and on and on. Cole and I have been making a point to call him by his full name: Augustus. It is afterall, his given name. We figure he can chose what he would like to be known as when he gets bigger. Who knows - he may want to be called Spiderman - never know!

In the short little 3 months we've been blessed with him he's already changed everything we expected of parenting. Of course being tired comes with it but waking up every 3 - 4 hours to see him smile at me is something I will just have to deal with - haha. I love that little smile and though being tired is tough - all worth it. If I was ever asked what it's like to be a new parent - I would say this: it's tiring, at times you question what you are doing and if it is right but it is also the best feeling in the world and for every negative the positives outweight and are worth it.

We have a little chatterbox drool monster living with us! He is a talker! I love watching him as he "talks"...his little mouth and tongue move about trying to form words and you can see in his eyes that he really is telling us something. He loves to carry on lunchtime chats with daddy. He really seems to react quite loudly when Cole talks to him. One day we will know what he is saying but for right now - I'm ok with the "words" that do not make sense.

He's got this personality that is just so amazing. He loves to giggle, smile and daddy taught him to stick out his tongue. So he does that alot! He knows he will get a giggle from us when he does it.

He loves sitting in his highchair also. No need for a Bumbo in this house! His highchair has an infant insert and he loves it! He's able to play with his favorite toys (besides his hands) - his linkables, his keys and his book that sounds like plastic crackling. We recently have been giving him cooling teething toys also. He wont hold them but if we hold them for him he likes to suck on them. This kid is pampered! The drooling has begun, hence the teethers. It started a few weeks ago. His hands are his favorite thing to chew on...we have tons of toys but his hands are what he loves!?!? Often times when he's napping we will hear that distinct sucking noise and there he is - awake and eating his fingers.

He's experienced his first fourth of July this summer. At first, the loud noises from the fireworks scared him but then he was ok and sat on my lap and watched them with his cousin Gaven nearby. It's so neat that they are the nearly the same age and experiencing so many "firsts" together. For example - this was their first "Annual Fourth of July Bash" at Ungle Doug & Aunt Lisa's Party Palace. One day when they are bigger they will get to enjoy the big jungle gym Uncle Doug built. It's huge and all of their little cousins already do!

Augustus met one of Grandma Gust's closest friends at the party. Her name is Norma. She got a kick out of him! She talked to him and he held her finger and laughed at her. She just loved that he did that. I wonder if that's what it would've been like had he been able to meet Gram. I know she would have loved him. All of the kids loved her so much! She was always so great with all of us. I still think when he smiles and giggles in his sleep it's because she's talking to him or singing to him. I would have loved for them to meet each other. Cole sings this song that I remember Gram singing - "I love you a bushel and a peck...a bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck." - I wonder if that's her way of singing to Augustus ~ through Cole.

After being coated with sunblock he also went swimming again. His first go-round didn't go so well we tried it again and this time he really liked it! He went 3 times in one weekend so we are hoping now he will be ok with it. He has a new floaty that Nana Sherry bought him and while it's a little big yet this summer - I think it helped him feel better about being in the water. He just floats around and loves it!

Month Two! in pictures...

2010-06-22T23:38:00.000-04:00

I apologize for not posting much...life is a little hectic right now and I am getting into a new groove! It's on my list to post more and keep you all updated! Here's a brief summary of Month Two:

He went to Walbridge for the first time and met lots of his new family members including his new cousin Gaven. They are 5 weeks apart! Future buddies like mommy and Gavens daddy Steven.

This was his first time to church at Cedarcreek.

His swing is his favorite place to be. He watches the mobile and loves the nature sounds it plays.

He napped for a whole 5 minutes in his crib for the first time. He isn't sleeping in it yet but we wanted to give it a try. Epic Fail. lol. ;)

His giggles are more frequent lately. His smile are too. He's learning his facial expressions will get a reaction from us. He likes to smile alot.

Floor time = FUN time!!

He also went in Aunt Kelie & Uncle Henry's pool for the first time. He didn't like it so we borrowed this awesome rocket raft and he seemed to feel more comfortable in it. He took a pretty long nap in it too!

He also met his "fur-cousin" Deisel...an English Mastiff. He's a gentle giant if you are in his circle. Thank God Augustus was accepted into his circle quickly. Deisel didn't seem to mind him much. Augustus probably thought he would get to ride him like a pony. Maybe one day he will!

He went to his first petting zoo at Youngs Jersey Dairy - he didn't seem to care. lol.

Month Three is upon us and we will have lots of new experiences to share. He will experience his first Fourth of July celebration at Uncle Doug & Aunt Lisa's Party Palace and he will meet his new best friend Landon = who is due July 23!

Our First Month as Parents ~ in Pictures!

2010-05-20T23:08:00.000-04:00

Our First Day ~ boy, were we exhausted!

Bug & his Jaundice light...our little lightnin' bug. :)

Going home! 4/3/10

Our New Family!

We got to bring Bug home on Saturday, the day before Easter. We didn't have any plans to take him anywhere but it was still great to be home for his first Easter!

We spent the first few days adjusting to life on someone else's schedule - Bugs! My mom stayed with us for a few days after he was born and she helped us with any questions we had. It was so great having her here. When my mom left, my in-laws helped since they live close to us. It was really great having them bring us meals too - it really helped considering I was still healing from my surgery and wasn't moving as fast as usual.

Here are more photos of Bug and our lives together throughout his first month:

His First Bath!

His first visit with the Pediatrician.

Showing off how strong he is at 2 1/2 weeks!

Going to meet his Great Papaw & Mamaw

His Birth Announcement Photo.

Sleeping & being Handsome...the two things he does best!

My Birth Story

2010-05-04T00:48:00.002-04:00

On Monday, March 29th the Dosh-Master told us that Bugs head had still not moved into the birth canal - a.k.a. he had not "dropped". He gave us 2 options: 1) we could wait one more week to see if he would or 2) I could be induced on Wednesday (March 31st). After discussing everything with him Cole and I decided to go ahead and schedule the induction. I was so scared but so excited.

On Tuesday March 30th, my mom arrived from Toledo and took me out for the day to help me relax. We then settled in for one long sleepless night. While we knew we needed the sleep Cole and I couldn't get settled enough to get any. At 4:30 we get ready to drive to the hospital. I was so nervous that I didn't even want to stop and get my cup of Timmy's because my tummy was so busy. We got to the hospital right on time at 5:30 a.m. After what felt like forever we were signed in and ready to go upstairs and get the process started. On our way down what felt like the longest hallway ever (not really a long one but I was scared so it seemed that way to me) we heard a new baby being born - thats when it all hit me. I just started tearing up and when we got into the birthing room I started crying. That's when Lisa (later refered to as Lisa #1) walked in and explained how everything would go throughout the day. She helped me get settled in and hooked me up to the IV.

~ The Process Begins ~ **Warning - it gets graphic here**

Around 7:00 a.m. Lisa #1 began the Cytotec applications. This was done to help my cervix ripen. In order for the birthing process to start the cervix has to thin out and mine was not...this is also part of the dialation process. Cytotex is a capsule placed under the cervix once every four hours. After the application, I had to lay flat for one hour and after that I could get up and walk or use the potty etc. She informed us that this was a long process and that I probably wouldn't have Bug until late that night but possibly not until the next day....saaay whhaaaat??? After the four hours she checked my cervix again and said I needed another dose. Still not much progress in the area.

Application #2 happened and the process continued. After this application - I had finally began dialating but was only at a 1. In other terms - not much at all and on to dose #3.

Application #3 happened in the afternoon. Now I had a new nurse - Lisa #2. She was going to be my nurse until the night shift nurse (Andrea) came in. At this point - everyone was tired. It had already begun to be a long day. Sitting in one room with casual walks here and there still makes you feel tired. But we kept on and hoped this application would help. The Dosh-Master came to visit and checked me to see what was happening. The answer: not much. It was 7:00 p.m. and I was only dialated to a 3. It was going to be an even longer day than we had thought.

(Andrea & Lisa #2)

He decided to break my water and start the pitocin. This is when the fun began! And I say fun being completely facetious. Because my water was broken (that is just an experience all of it's own!) and the pitocin was started this meant labor was on its way. I started feeling contractions and while they weren't too bad - they weren't a fun time either. I finally asked for some pain medication. Lisa #2 gave me a half dose of Nubain. I swear the clock was moving on the wall when she did that!! She called me a "lightweight"...it was nice to have a bit of humor in all the seriousness.

Cole stayed right next to me throughout all of the applications and all of the craziness. We had a great support team with us that day - my mom, his mom and his dad. Throughout the day we had a few visitors but at this point - I was done with visitors and asked that no one else come to the room. I even turned my phone to vibrate and tried to focus on relaxing. Turning my phone on vibrate was a huge indication that I was ready to do this and no longer wanted to chit chat with anyone. I was in pain, I was tired and I was ready to meet my boy. The contractions continued and I tried so hard to get through them without getting the epidural. I really tried so hard to breath and focus. I had 3 things with me to help me: 1) my bible verses I memorized, 2) my picture of me and my gran and 3) my music. As the evening got later and the pain got stronger I had the lights dimmed and Cole turned my music on for me. We listened to Ray Lamontagne and I breathed through each contraction as it came. Cole held my hand and just calmed me. He helped me focus on breathing and reassured me of what a great job I was doing. It was harder as the evening progressed because the simple fact was my body was not progressing in the way it needed to for me to have a vaginal birth.

Later that evening (I'm guessing 11:00 p.m. but I was medicated at this point) I asked for the epidural. I just couldn't handle it anymore. They called the anesthesiologist and she was there very quick! That was a feeling I will never forget and honestly I feel like that hurt me more than anything else. I still tear up when I think about that. It was just something I knew I needed but wish it didn't feel the way it did. The pressure and the pain in my spine just simply hurt.

As the time went by I continued to feel a very sharp pain in my abdomen. I kept saying the epidural didn't work and when they looked on the machines - I was having contractions and not feeling them so yes it did work. The pain I was in was a pain the epidural couldn't touch. I asked and received a second dose of the epidural. This still couldn't prevent that pain. The Dosh-Master came in and checked me again. My cervix was thinning out and I wasn't dialating any further. It was now decision time. I could continue for a few hours and hope to dialate or I could have a C-Section. This was a very hard decision. I was so scared to have a C-Section. I also felt as though I was giving up - it was like I was being defeated by my own body. It was so hard for me but I knew it was best for me and for Bug that I have the C-Section. The truth behind it all is that I probably never would have dialated far enough to have him vaginally because my pelvic area isn't large enough to give birth that way.

~ The Cesarean Section ~

This happened very fast...they transported me to the surgery room and took Cole to a different room so that he could change into the paper clothes. In this room - I lay flat on my back with about 5 new faces around me. Andrea (my night nurse) was with me and so was the anesthesiologist. They had me on the table and were preparing me for the spinal block. I was so afraid I would feel them cut into my body or that I would feel them pull my organs and move my insides....unrealistic but hey! I was a little freaked out right then! Cole was not allowed to be in the room yet and I was so scared without him. He always calms me and I felt alone. Andrea came to me and stood by my side. I asked her if I could hold her while they did the spinal block and she stood there next to be the whole time. It really helped. They laid me back down and then I couldn't feel anything from the chest down. It was really creepy!

They started working on my stomach and I asked for Cole. I needed him. They let him come in and he stayed right next to me. As they worked on me I kept falling asleep - the drugs were all kicked in and my body was just exhausted. Then I heard Cole crying. He said "It's our baby boy." At 1:13 a.m. on April 1st, 2010 - Augustus Isaac was born.

And then my whole world changed...not only could I ~

hear my baby boy cry...

I could see his face...

And touch his skin...

And hold him close...

And now my life will never be the same.

Bug's HERE!

2010-04-18T14:44:00.000-04:00

As you can see, I have not posted in a few weeks! That is because I AM A NEW MOMMY!!!

When things settle down a bit - I'll bring you all the details! Til' then......

39 weeks and holding!

2010-03-25T18:12:00.001-04:00

This baby is just taking his sweet time joining us!

This past Tuesday we went to see the Dosh-Master again. And again we were told "No dialation. Cervix is closed." HOWEVER - this time it is "soft".......so that was one good sign that maybe he's not going to stay in there forever as I previously thought. Ha! Ha! He wanted to do a sonogram to make sure Bugs head was in the right position. So I got the jelly off my belly from the doppler and went back to the sonogram room. It's funny seeing him in there now compared to when we was just little...not that he's not little but when we saw him at 6 months it was clear what was what. Now that he's a bit bigger he's all smooshed in there and it makes it difficult to see his profile and such. D-Master showed us his little heart - it was beating beautifully! And then he showed us his little bladder - it was full, just like his mama's! LOL. And then we saw his head...his huge gigantic head that will work it's way out of a small small small area! I'm kidding - his head is normal size but comparing it to the - well, you know...it looks huge! He's in position but he's just not "there" yet so again we wait. We've heard lots of old wives tales about how to progress his birth and we talked to our doctor about them. He said "No. The baby will tell you when he is ready. Nothing will make him fall into that area." So....we just wait.

This week I've felt things I've not felt before - his movement is in a different area (lower) and he is pushing his little foot out much further than before. Last night while I was resting (or trying to anyway) he made this movement that made me jump! Well, I jumped about as fast and as far as my preggo butt could anyway. The vision I had was when the alien reaches out of Sigourney Weaver's tummy in that movie Alien but what really happened - I'm not sure. He just had a fast movement that was bigger than usual and I think it may have scared both of us! I could see his whole little bottom sticking out! He must have been stretching. Oh I just know I will miss those moments! But I am sure they will be filled by even better moments.

The past weeks we've been focused on "our plan" and what we will do to "pass the down time" while we are at the hospital before Bug visits. Cole came up with a great idea that I should find some pieces of scripture for him to read to me and for us to focus on while I am in labor. When I am having a hard moment I tend to go to my Bible as reciting scripture helps me calm down and brings my focus where it needs to be. So we were looking some up and Cole found something very interesting that I want to share:

"Octavian, later known as Caesar Augustus, is only mentioned once in The Bible, when he ordered that a census be taken of the Roman world (see Ancient Empires - Rome). That census caused the birth of Jesus Christ to occur in Bethlehem, exactly as prophesied (e.g. Micah 5:2), rather than in Nazareth where Joseph and Mary were then living.

"In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be enrolled. This was the first enrollment, when Quirinius was governor of Syria. And all went to be enrolled, each to his own city. And Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the city of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and lineage of David [see also The Chosen People and Ruth], to be enrolled with Mary, his betrothed, who was with child. And while they were there, the time came for her to be delivered. And she gave birth to her first-born son and wrapped Him in swaddling cloths, and laid Him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn." (Luke 2:1-7 RSV)

From Cole: Just a little tidbit about Augustus' name where its mentioned in The Bible, but what is interesting is that his due date 4-1-10 is also the date of the current census! The one we are undergoing right now! AND our baby's namesake in The Bible is the person that ordered the first census ever!!! AND the census only occurs once every 10 years now!

So there you have it people. Just a little fun fact about our little Bug!

Long time ~ no blog.

2010-03-12T23:48:00.001-05:00

So I haven't updated this in a while...been kind of busy, kind of tired and kind of lazy about it. My energy hasn't been super awesome lately.

Over the last month I've had two baby showers and both rocked!
One was here in Dayton. My friends Brittany & Cathy had it for me. It was very cute! Brit made a cake to match Bugs bedding! We had yummy food too: couscous salad, veggies & dip, a nice bread assortment from Panera (with my favorites - asiago, 2 cheeses, honey wheat), potato soup, roasted red pepper & tomato soup and of course, my craving - fresh fruit!

And my friends totally played to my addiction: Tim Hortons coffee!! It was awesome!!

We played some great games too! One was all about names over the centuries - very cool. The second game was a memory game using baby items that we got to keep! Everytime Brit left the room, she'd remove one item and you had to remember what was in there so you could right down what was missing! Then it was gift time! We received so many great gifts for Bug. Thanks again to everyone who came or sent gifts. :)

(Cathy & Brittany)

Thanks again Cathy & Brittany! We know how hard they worked and made it a very special day for us both. I should mention that the boys went for beers & food while the women were at the shower.

My second shower was in Walbridge (my hometown). My mom and my Aunts had this one. And my sister Leslie flew in from Connecticut to celebrate with us. It was Rubber Ducky Themed.

(Aunt Jenny, Aunt Shawn, Me, Aunt Debi, & Aunt Ferol)

(Mom, Me, Leslie)

We had homemade chicken salad & ham salad on croissants, veggies & dip, fruit, a pickle & olive tray and chips. My aunt had the same woman (whom I adore, Miss JoAnn) who made our bridal shower & wedding cake make our cake for my baby shower! We also had a ducky bath tub that was filled with ice and my AJ made my Grans famous punch. I don't have all the pictures back yet so I cannot post those. But everything tasted great!

(Aunt Lisa made these centerpieces. The duck suckers were made of chocolate!)

We played a "getting to know you" game and a baby alphabet game. You have to come up with a baby related item for each lettter of the alphabet. Some of the answers were so funny. We then went onto gifts. We were so blessed again by so many great gifts! Bug is one spoiled little boy already!!

(These were given to each person as a little extra Thank You before they left.)

Thank you again to Mom, Leslie & "The Aunts" (as Cole calls them) for such a great day! We sent the boys to the local tavern along with food to have a diaper party. They lucked out as it was the same day as the big Chili Cook-Off so they had lots of food to chose from! I made Cole's favorite snacks - chips & salsa and a cheese, sausage & cracker tray and ordered big sub sandwiches!

After coming home and getting all the gifts unpacked and put away we decided to finish his room. We received his bedding as a gift and got it all washed up. This is what it looks like in his room.

So now his room is ready! We also have our bassinet made and ready in our bedroom. Our bassinet was an antique we bought from JoAnn - she is my seamstress and our cake baker! She said it went through her children and all of her grandbabies. It's a pretty special little place for our Bug. It will keep him close to us at night time. She also made the bedding and as a shower gift made him a beautiful blanket.

We also took our Lamaze classes. Although they have changed the name of those (at least at our hospital) to "Childbirthing Classes". They changed it because they realized most of that breathing stuff doesn't really work. Uhm...lol, sorry previous moms! Now the big focus is relaxation skills, help from your "birthing partner" (so PC), aromatheraphy and good ol' education of the birthing process! That 4 week class was good times!! We learned sooo much and I would highly recommend them to anyone who is going to have a baby! Not just for the moms but for the "birthing partner" too. We gained so much knowledge and were given alot of handouts and a book to help us. It was really a great class. Some of it though was absolutely hilarious! Cole had me laughing, I had him laughing and the girl who sat in front of me - well, she had all of us laughing!! Some of the videos are funny for reasons I won't mention on here and it's just such a stressful situation that you can either laugh or cry - so we laughed!

This past week I took a breastfeeding class and Kelie (my SIL) came with me because Cole had to work and lets be honest here people - guys do not want to sit through something like that! She and I learned ALOT too! Again, lots of handouts and a good book. No need for details about this class.

The hospital we will be at is really pretty awesome. They have such a great focus on Mom/Baby closeness. They really push the idea of keeping the baby in your room, breastfeeding, skin to skin contact with mom & baby, allowing daddy to be there for everything and providing a secure, relaxing environment for all. All of which were very important to Cole and I. They offer "Quiet Time" everyday where they prefer no visitors (but you can if you want to) and they want the moms & the babies to spend that time together bonding. I think it's so neat they do this. The staff that we've met thus far has been amazing too. All very kind and willing to take the time to answer our questions. The hospital tour was cool too. We went to the "Family Beginnings" area - this is the section where they do water births and go a more natural way of birth. I was really interested in the water births since I love to take baths and I heard it helps with pain. Then I was told you couldn't have any pain meds except Nubain and if you did want the epidural you were moved to a new room - so I decided that wasn't the route for us! They showed us the c-section area and the birthing and post-partum rooms. Both rooms are kind of small but it's not like we'll be there long anyway!

We went for our 37 week visit to see the Dosh-Master this past week. He said Bug is doing well! His heartbeat was perfect and he's a "strong healthy baby" according to the Dosh. He also settled a dispute for Cole and I.....I think Bug will be between 7 & 7.5 lbs. Cole thinks Bug will be 8+ lbs. Doshi said I was right! THANK GOD! LOL. Although his weight definately does matter when he decideds to grace us with his presence. Which may be a few weeks still. I'm not dialated at all. But that's ok. Cole and I feel like he needs to stay in there as long as he needs to to be a healthy boy. We do not want him to come too early.

One amazing thing that happened in the time away from the blogosphere is Augustus' new little cousin was born! Here he is with Cole. Gaven is my cousin Steven & Michelle's (his girlfriend) little boy. Gus & Gaven will be great buds! I already know it!

(Gaven Jayce Lacourse)

Cole was really excited to meet Gaven. He said it made him even more excited for Gus to come! He doesn't believe me when I tell him Gus will be small like Gaven. He wont be as small as Gaven was born a little early but he will be little. Cole loves his little tiny hands and long skinny fingers! Cole will be such a great daddy.

(He's such a little peanut!)

So for now, we just wait. We go weekly to the Dosh-Master for check ups and wait for our little Bug to arrive. Cole gets more excited each time we visit Doshi and we both are just waiting...it's like waiting for Christmas morning when you are a little one. I've been taking (or trying to) it easy lately. I'm having some swelling in my ankles and feet and they hurt! I now know what "cankles" are...not pretty. I'm having some Braxton Hicks contractions more frequently now and am trying to prepare!

We've packed up Augustus' bag and our bags for the hospital. We worked off a list provided by my awesome friend Samantha and also one from the hospital. Now we just wait!

We all fall down!

2010-02-04T22:17:00.000-05:00

Bug and I had a visit to the hospital on Wednesday.

Why?

Because mommy is a clutz!

I was eating a mid day snack and on my way to take the plate into the kitchen (yes, I was eating in the living room!) I fell. We have gates in our house that most people use for babies - for our dogs. At some point either I knocked into it or Ellie (our beagle, a.k.a. my shadow) bumped it and it fell in front of me. I tried to stop myself from falling onto my tummy. My knees hit the floor first and the plate, fork and chicken I was eating went flying into the air and onto the floor. I put my hands out and all of my weight went onto my hands and wrists. Then I fell onto my side.

I was freaked out and downright scared! I talked myself into calming down and got myself up off the floor. I went into the living room and sat down on the couch. I rubbed my tummy and was talking to Bug but he wasn't moving. Then I started getting pain in my lower abdomen. I called my mom and told her what happened - she said go to the hospital! Better to be safe than sorry. So I called Cole and told him what happened. He came home and picked me up. I got to go to the hospital in a fabulous police car - which was awesome because we were able to speed and get there quicker. Had I not been so scared it probably would have been a little neater cause I've never been in the front seat of a police car. But I was scared and it didn't matter what kind of car I was in. Bug wasn't moving and I was worried. Cole was so amazing the entire time. He just kept calming me and telling me everything was ok, Bug was fine, it was all ok.

Right before we pulled into the ER I felt a light movement in my tummy but wasn't 100% sure it was Bug or a cramp. We walked into the ER and of course - they recognize Cole. However, it was interesting as people were looking at me and I know they were thinking "Wonder what she did??" - afterall, I had a police escort!

Having that police escort was pretty awesome. Being pregnant didn't hurt either. They took me right back and the great thing was we had just turned in our early registration forms at Lamaze class so they had all of my info in the computer already! We went into triage, answered some family/health history questions and were taken right back. A nurse came in very quickly and wanted to help because she saw I was pregnant. So nice of her to do. She got the doppler out and we told her where Dosh-Master usually hears Bugs heartbeat. She put the doppler on and found it FAST! His little heart was just racing. I think our poor little Bug was scared. As soon as I heard him I just cried. I was so scared for him. I try so hard to protect him and take care of him and here I had fallen down and nearly put at him at risk of damage. His heartbeat was fast - 165 - usually he's at 145 bpm but they explained it was probably just because of the stress.

They called in 2 doctors and they checked my knees, hands and wrists. I wasn't concerned about me but they were. They were poking around my sides and my abdomen to check out where I fell. Afterwards - Bug started moving all about! I dont think he liked them poking him! Then he got the hiccups and that made us laugh and then we felt alot better. We knew he was ok. Cole had his hands on my tummy and was talking to him and he was responding to Daddy. They called Dosh-Master and he wanted me to be monitored so they transported me over to the Womens Center. Cole's Sgt. was awesome and let him have the rest of the evening off to sit with me because they said I would have to be monitored for 6 hours. They took me into a room that is divided off into mini-rooms by walls and curtains. It was funny because there was this sign on the door that said "One Support Person per Patient" and I thought...DUH! Where would they sit????? The little rooms have the monitors and equipment plus a bed and a chair! There's no room for much else. Our nurse, Tracy, came in and got me hooked up with two monitors - the top lines with the blue are tracking his heartbeat. The lines below that are tracking my contractions -which thankfully I was not having!

This machine shows his heartbeat (128) as it beats onto the little sensors they have wrapped around my tummy. The second sensor was the one Bug liked to kick! Every kick, every movement - we heard them all. The stinky part was that I fell but the part that made everything better was being able to sit in a room for 2+ hours and hear his heartbeat and hear his movements. It calmed both of us.

We sat for quite some time and Tracy continued to check on us. She was so amazing. It is such a blessing knowing we are going to a hospital that has such a great labor staff. they were all so kind and caring. It was genuine too - not just because it's their jobs. They were all so great. Tracy stayed in touch with Dosh-Master and off and on would tell us stuff about the machines, answer questions and she brought me food! I was starving!! I tried to share my food with Cole but he just wanted me to eat....so I fibbed and told him I didn't like oatmeal-raisin cookies so that he would eat them. I knew he was hungry but he was putting me and Bug first - which is totally him. He is great about putting us first. I was happy 'cause he ate the cookies but I did take one bite and they were good!! He knew I was fibbing then but it's ok - I wanted him to eat and he did!!

Finally Tracy came back in and told us she spoke with Dosh-Master and after 2 & 1/2 hours - we were given the ok to leave!

30 weeks!

2010-02-04T21:23:00.000-05:00

30 weeks....10 to go! Feeling very pregnant lately! We went to see the Dosh-Master and were shocked that I had gained 6 lbs. between visits! That's the most I had gained in between visits! Crazy!

Since my appointments are now 2 weeks apart - things aren't really changing much. He was able to tell us what position Gus was laying in - which was really cool to learn. And he showed us how to feel for him - for instance, when I lay flat part of my tummy will be raised a little bit more and when I feel it - it is harder than the rest of my tummy. So depending on where I feel it - it's either his noggin or his tuchy. His back is longer than the rest of his body so we can feel that pretty easily. He's so awesome!

Bugs Nursery is done!

2010-02-04T19:46:00.005-05:00

This is the view from his doorway.

This is his little dresser. It was my Grandma's linen dresser.

She used it for a very long time. We wanted to keep it with Bug.

His little toy/book bin. We figured he could use it for a very long time. For now: books, rattles and such. Later....Legos, Matchbox cars, & G.I. Joe's!

His name was made with wooden circles and letters I picked up at Hobby Lobby. My cousin helped me paint them and I used 3M spongy adhesives (used in scrapbooking) to mount them onto the wood circles.

Cole bought this for me soon after we found out I was pregnant. It's from the book of Psalms. It reads: "For you created my inmost being. You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, I know that full well."

This saying is above his bed. I love what it says because it's so true!

This is his "Child of God" cross above his doorway.

His room is all done. Now we just await his arrival!

The 3 Hour Glucose Test a.k.a. Hell on Earth!

2010-01-10T16:57:00.000-05:00

We received a call from our Doctor's office a day or so after the first test. My iron count was low and my sugar was too high. My iron was at a 9 and she told me it needs to be at a 12 before I can give birth to Bug. She gave me the name of an iron suppliment that I need to take and we scheduled the 3-hour test. We went to the library and got some nutrition books on Gestational Diabetes and then to the grocery. I changed my diet right then and started the iron suppliments.

Thursday night started the fasting which really wasn't a big deal until Friday morning when I wanted something to drink. We went in to the doctors office and the vampire took her first vile of blood. Then I had to drink the orange glucose - at room temp! WOW! Keeping that down was a job! It's so much better when it is cold. After that we had to wait one hour for the next vile to be taken. I felt like I had morning sickness all over again.The first time I drank the poison wasn't so bad because I could eat right after and I felt fine. This time though was not so easy. We sat and listened to Robin Meade and Dr. Sanjay Gupta repeat themselves on the health channel over and over (btw, the "funny bone" isn't actually a bone) and then decided to go rest in the car. After an hour, we went back in and the vampire got me again. This happened a total of 4 times over three hours. After we left the doctors office I was not feeling well to say the least. I was so light headed and felt like I was going to pass out so we went to eat.

We waited 4 days for the results because it was over New Years Eve weekend (also our anniversary). Our first anniversary was a little different than what we had planned it to be but we're ok with it considering we have this beautiful baby coming soon. After the testing I came home and rested as we had plans to go out for a nice dinner that evening for our anniversary. We planned an early dinner so we didn't get caught up in the NYE festivities and traffic.

After dinner we came home and just relaxed. It was so nice after that horrible morning to relax. We watched a movie and played our favorite game, Scrabble! He had champagne, I had alcohol removed champagne and I made some snacks. It was really a nice evening. Being 27 weeks pregnant on NYE will certaintly slow you down!

So Monday finally came and we got the call from our doctors office. She said my bloodwork came back great! What a relief! I was so worried about the possibilities of having GD and the side effects that I couldn't focus on anything else. But thankfully, we are just fine. I'm still being very careful about my sugar and salt intake though. Rather be safe than sorry. I'm still swelling in my feet and hands so I figure a low sodium diet will help that.

I looked in the mirror the other day at my bare tummy and was quite shocked at what I saw. I always look down and never to the side except in pictures...wow! Bug is getting big!!! According to the babycenter.com site he's already over 2 lbs.!! And he's just moving all about still. He and Cole play games in my tummy. It's quite funny. Cole will lay his head on my tummy and make a kissy sound and Bug will kick his cheek! He also has very warm hands and whenever he touches me Bug kicks him right on his hand! Cole just giggles. He loves it. I'm glad we are able to find ways for him to be involved too.

I'm at 28 weeks now and I am feeling it! My back has been more and more achy and my energy level has been slowing down. It's definately time for me to realize I cannot accomplish everything I want to in one day but things will still get done. We had a visitor this past week (my cousin Tyger) and she and I applied the first coating of paint to Bugs room. Bugs diaper stacker came in the mail so we were able to match the paint color. It's so cute! The little fox is suede and the colors are beautiful! His room color is called Cliff rock from Behr. I think it looks like a teddy bears color. Light brown. Very very cute!! I will be excited to finish it soon and then we can put his furniture together. Small progress on a very important project!

26 weeks...and the belly continues to grow!

2009-12-28T23:34:00.000-05:00

Our 26 week check up was today. As well as the infamous "Glucose Test"...I'd heard some pretty awful things about that test. I really didn't think it was that bad. The "orange flavored drink" they gave me to drink specifically at 8:15 a.m. was chilled and ready to go. I downed it like a champ. Then I got a headache from it being so cold, lol. Then the race was on...we had to be to the doctors office no later than 9:00 a.m. so they could take the test at 9:15 a.m. We were prepared for this however. We had our plan all figured out the night before....drink, shower, dress, and leave by 8:30 a.m. and we did it! They were very specific - no eating or drinking before the test. Tough one for me because I like to down a glass of water first thing in the morning.

We made it to the office and waited for our appointment. I've gained 3 more lbs. and everything was good. I'm right on track with my weight. So even though I feel like a Fatty - the numbers do not lie - I am doing well. He measured my tummy for the first time and told me Bug was measuring to be a "normal sized baby, not too big not too small." That news made me very happy since I have been so worried Bug would be a big baby like Cole was. 9 lbs. 13 oz. does not sound like fun! So it looks like Bug may take after his mama and be a regular size. THANK GOD! :) He said Bug weighs a little over a pound right now. We heard his heart again too...that sound never gets old. 140-145 BPM. "Strong and healthy."

Our appointments are now going from 4 weeks apart to 3 weeks apart....kind of exciting because it's a sign we are getting closer, but also kind of nerve-racking because it's a sign we're getting closer! LOL.

The negative was that I got into a bit of trouble by the Dosh-Master today. He said I needed to get more rest. I told him I am not a sitter and that it's hard for me to be stationary. He said I need to so I am going to really try and be a little more sedate. I have been feeling very tired lately and figured alot of it was due to the hustle of the holidays. He said it has to do with pregnancy too....lol. So, I need to be lazy more often. After our appointment I had to have my blood drawn. 2 vials down and in 3 days I should have an answer. If I test positive then I will have to change my diet to a gestational diabetes diet. Doesn't sound like fun but I am not really worried about it. My mom said we haven't really had that issue in our family during pregnancies.

The plans are being made!
We called and scheduled our lamaze classes. We begin in February. I do not think either of us are looking forward to these classes. I remember going to one with my sister Leslie and it was so cheesy. I'm sure we will learn some important information - so we will still attend - but we are not really excited about it. Touring the hospital is going to be the high light though! We'll get to see a birthing room and learn more about the process so at least we have that to look forward to. A co-worker of Coles wife works there and she offered to show us the ropes in a bit more detail than the class. That's kind of exciting.

We recieved Bugs bed, changing table, rocking chair and some other items for his room. I had to order something from his bedding so that we can match up a paint color. We ordered the Diaper Stacker because Cole thought it was cute and useful. I wasn't going to get a diaper stacker but we will use it! I am anxiously awaiting that delivery.

I cannot wait to get his room ready! We've been picking up little things here and there for his room and for him. I bought a little sleeper for his "First Thanksgiving" and also one for his "First Christmas." Gotta love those after holiday sales! We received many great gifts for Christmas for Bug and we are so thankful for all of them! Diapers, clothes, books, etc. We received my favorite childrens book "Love You Forever" and I cannot wait to start reading it to him. Maybe one of those lazy days when I've got my feet up!

As the belly continues to grow....

2009-12-11T23:20:00.000-05:00

24 weeks! This week Bug weighs at least a pound!
He's very active on certain days, not so much on other. It's when he's not active that scares me a little. Cole too. He'll ask if Bugs moving and when I show concern he just calms me and tells me "He's sleeping." but later on when Bugs moving about I let him know and his face just lights up and he says "Good." and I can just see the relief on his face. Bugs schedule is still the same...early morning, late at night and periodically through the day - but not alot.

He does seem to love baths! I love taking baths and I use it as a time to share with Bug. I tell him how much we love him and how we cannot wait to meet him but that he has to stay in there and bake for a bit longer so he'll be strong. He really is active during bath time. Tonight though was quite an experience! He wasn't really active today and when I got in the bath he still didn't seem to move about. So I had to "bug" him a little bit and he still wasn't reacting. I got nervous and told him "Mommy needs to feel you Bug." and I got this big huge kick in my left side...it was like he was telling me "Woman! I'm in here and I'm trying to sleep!". So I left him alone after that. His movement is just amazing. I look forward to it every day.

When Cole comes home from work Bug is usually awake and when Cole talks to him he really reacts. It's so sweet to us both that he recognizes Cole's voice - at least we think he does. Last week was a really cool experience for Cole!! He came in from work and I was in bed. He wrapped his arm around me and Bug kicked him right in the arm...almost like a "Hello Daddy!" moment. It was so neat. We are really living for little moments like that.

As the belly grows...

2009-12-11T23:05:00.000-05:00

Here I am at 23 weeks.
Cole said I look really tired in this picture. I WAS!! We had a busy week and I was exhausted but I have learned my lesson! This was the week we went to see the Dosh-Master and I learned all about the swelling and water retention occurring. Cole told me to take it easy so as hard as it was for two evenings I layed on the couch and watched movies/television. I am not good at sitting for long periods of time - I like to keep busy! But I was really happy that after relaxing with my feet up it was easier to get my runners on the next day!

We had alot to do that week though. We got the living room painted (Safe Paint from Lowe's people, no worries), the Christmas decorations up and we went and picked out our Christmas tree! It's our first real Christmas tree. We wanted to make sure we had it all figured out so that way when Bugs older we wont look like idiots when our tree falls because we do not know how to use the tree stand, lol.

Our tree is still going strong so we're feeling pretty confident we'll be able to impress Bug with our tree skills over the years. We went to the tree farm and walked and walked....and walked until we found "our" tree. But this is definately something we plan to do with our Bug in years to come. A "Family Tradition" we'd like to start with him.

Bug has his own stocking this year too. I know it's crazy but we bought it because we got these really cut stockings at Kohl's with our initials stitched into them and instead of having to get new ones next year so they all matched (yes, they have to match) we bought an 'A' for Augustus. I wasn't going to hang it but there was this empty spot on the mantel and the stocking was just sitting there...so it went up!

Next year, Bug will be here to have all this fun with us!

Bugs Bedroom

2009-12-03T22:16:00.000-05:00

....will be adorable!?! We picked out his bedding and I love it! Cole says he will use this bedding to teach Bug what you shoot when you go hunting....I disagree. I will use it to teach Bug about wildlife and how we must protect them! I had my mind made up about the color of his room too but that's changed AGAIN! So I'm just going to wait it out for a bit and then decide. I got the Olympic Safe Paint for $5.00 a gallon (gotta love mis-tints!) and am not really that sad about knowing I can change my mind and it only cost us $5.00. Cole on the other hand - not so happy that I've changed my mind but we haven't painted yet so I still feel it's an ok thing. :) That's a mommy & Grammy Dona project anyway so he has no need to worry.

We finished our registries also. That was fun! It is so hard to go into these stores and look at this adorable stuff and try to chose one pattern, one color etc. It's also very hard to walk out of the store without purchasing everything! I've made just a few purchases - the most recent one was when my Mom and I were locked in at Toys R Us on Black Friday morning. We went for "just a few really great sales" and after 40 minutes of walking around and 2 & 1/2 hours of waiting in line under lock-down by the fire marshall (TRU is not very organized on Black Friday) - I was the happy mommy who saved big and bought 4 packs of diapers for a measly $20.00! I was pretty happy! And I wasn't the only pregnant woman in there buying those diapers either! That is a great deal!

We went to the doctor again on Monday for our monthly check-up. Bug is doing well and was very active once again. He managed to kick the doppler twice! It's almost like a new game for him. It was a bummer though because afterwards I asked our doctor "Dosh-Master" (as Cole likes to call him) when Cole would be able to feel Bug because I've felt him kick for over a month now. His response was "You should feel him already. I felt him twice during the heartbeat check." I was so sad for Cole. He has been so looking forward to being the first person to feel Bug kick besides me. So Dosh-Master told us some tips about when is a good time and such and guess what....later that night, Cole felt Bug kick! He kicked him quite a few times and now pretty much anytime he kicks Cole can feel it! I've been experiencing some wonderful things as well...swelling feet & sciatic nerve pain in my lower back and heiney. Again, all things Dosh-Master considers "normal". Lovely I say, just lovely. I'm getting tired earlier at night now and when I walk I get these little pains in my lower abdomen. Again, all things Dosh-Master calls "normal." So I am going through a "healthy - normal pregnancy" which is great to hear! :)

I've been thinking alot about the birthing process and must admit I'm getting a little scared. I just keep reminding myself that women do it everyday and everyday they make it through it and then have a little bug to love. It's just a rather scary idea of what will be taking place in that delivery room. I know Cole will be next to me and that he will help me. I've already apologized for any un-ladylike things I may say to him during the birth so we're good there. I think he thinks I'm crazy but I've witnessed a birth and I know that I heard some words and statements come out of my sister Leslie that I never imagined hearing! I really do not want to be one of the stereotypes of "You did this to me" and that kind of stuff but who knows! I'm thinking of making a cd of music for in the room during his birth and trying to come with some good songs that usually make me feel good. At this point he may be born to Bob Marley or Jimmy Buffett! We have to sign up for our classes soon and I know we'll learn some techniques and such to help during the birthing process. It still seems a bit scary to me though. I know I can do it, I just worry about those little things that "could" happen.....but that's me, I'm a natural worrier.

On a side note, the Pampers commercial where the mommy gives birth and then holds and cuddles her newborn for the first time - cry fest! I saw a little newborn in a carrier at the grocery today and I got all teary eyed and thought - soon. It's amazing.

As the Belly Grows...21 weeks!

2009-11-19T21:15:00.001-05:00

You can almost tell by these pictures that Gus likes to hang out low...he loves to kick me just above by bladder. His little feet go go go at night and early in the morning. I can always tell when he's awake from a nap...it's usually around 9 p.m. then he sleeps for a bit and kicks around 11:30 p.m.

When I wake up in the middle of the night - he's awake sometimes but not often. It's usually around 7a.m.-ish that I feel him kicking more. He's a bit lathargic during the day....and very active at night....we need to get this schedule switched around somehow! :)

I'm feeling good lately. Tired with a few aches here and there but good. My tootsies have been swelling a bit and so have my hands. Cole suggested wearing my wedding rings around my neck on my necklace but I feel weird with them off. I'm going to wear them as long as I can.

Cole is anxiously awaiting feeling Bug kick! I woke him up the other night to feel because Bug was really kicking hard but Cole still couldn't feel it. Hopefully soon...though I hope it's during the day because Cole says he's going to call everyone to celebrate!!

Bug was given a new nickname this past weekend by his Uncle Brandon ~ Augustus Gloop Isaac Newton Niswonger. Some nickname that is!!!! I was under the impression nicknames were shorter than that. lol. Oh well. Our baby has so much love coming his way when he gets here! He's already so loved by so many people. I very blessed knowing that. Bug's going to have an amazing support circle while he grows.

We've been listening to alot of music lately...all different kinds too. He doesn't seem to prefer one kind to other. He just kicks. One postion he does NOT like is when I sit with my tummy tucked under (I know it's hard to believe it tucks under anything!). It's like s hunched over postion I do sometimes to stretch and he does not like it - at all! I tend to get alot of movement from him when I sit like that. Last night I was playing a little game with him.....where ever he'd kick - I'd lightly push and then he'd kick again. Cole told me to stop annoying him so I only did it 3 times but it was fun to get a reaction from him. He's so awesome!

As the Belly Grows....18 weeks!

2009-11-17T13:53:00.000-05:00

We forgot to take and 18 week picture so this one will have to do! LOL!

20 weeks! Half way there...

2009-11-11T19:10:00.001-05:00

Tomorrow we will be at 20 weeks! We're half way there.

I am really getting anxious because I cannot sleep and Dr. D says "That's normal." I'm getting leg cramps all night and it really makes it hard to relax and again - normal. I really didn't expect this or some of the other things I've been experiencing lately - I mean I know about the getting bigger and things happening but lately things have been just a little bit different than the glowing happy pregnant girl I'd hoped to be. I'm tired, cranky and really want to go rent a hotel room to get away from my dogs who will not leave me alone! As you can tell - I didn't get much sleep last night.

Augustus is just this little acrobat/soccer player in my tummy! I LOVE IT!! He has been hanging out pretty low over the past few days which really makes the trips to the potty more frequent! Another sleep taker-awayer (I know that's probably not a real word but it works!). Last night I was hoping he was kicking hard enough for Cole to feel him but he couldn't. He is so excited about feeling Bug kick! I cannot wait for him to experience it. It's going to be so exciting when he does. For now, he just talks to Bug and kisses my belly.

We recently received a book I was really excited about getting. It's called Max Lucado's Children's Treasury. It has four of Max's childrens books in one. It's a great book because they all are Christian based and will help us teach Bug about God. We want to read to Bug now that we know he can hear us and I really hope it will lead him to be an avid reader when he is bigger. One of my favorite Max childrens books is called "Just in Case You Ever Wonder" and it is the first story in this book. One of my favorite pages says:

But as you grow and change, some things will stay the same.
I'll always love you.
I'll always hug you.
I'll always be on your side.
And I want you to know that...just in case you ever wonder.

But the last page is the one that just gets me everytime:

In Heaven you are so close to God that He will
hug you, just like I hug you. It's going to be
wonderful. I will be there too, I promise.
We will be there together, forever.
Remember that...
just in case you ever wonder.

It is such a beautiful book. I am very excited to share the words on these pages with my little guy. He will be so loved. I know that because he is already is. All of the dreams I ever had are all here in front of me and are coming true. I have a wonderful man who loves me and we have a beautiful baby boy coming to us soon. I don't know that life gets much better than that.

We were talking about Christmas the other day and I asked if we were going to set up my fake 4 foot tree this year or if we were going to get a real one. Cole said we should get a real one because the first time you try something it doesn't always work so it'll be good for us to work it out before Bug is here. So this year, it's a real tree for us. We'll see how that goes with 3 dogs in the house!

Other than the sleepy part - things are going well. We are continuing the renovations on our house and getting things ready for Bug. We finished our registries and got all of our nursery furniture picked out. It's funny how my taste changed from the beginning to now. I am so excited to see his nursery all put together and I cannot wait to wash his linens and make everything really comfy for him. His bassinet will have to taken out of storage (we bought an antique bassinet from my seamstress) and we can wash the bedding she made it. It will be so great to have next to the bed - but that wont happen for a while yet.

It's really kind of crazy because lately I've been realizing - this is the last Christmas we will spend alone for along time, these are the last holiday parties we will go to without needing a babysitter, etc. but I really am not down by any of that...I am really looking forward to it all. Having Bug has really made Cole and I think deeper, love deeper, and try harder to make the little moments matter and see every blessing we have been given. We went from not knowing if having Bug was ever going to happen to looking at his little face in a sonogram and seeing and feeling more love and emotion that we ever thought was possible.

This is going to be one wild, fun, scary, emotional, happy, beautiful ride!

We're having a BOY!!!!!!

2009-11-03T11:40:00.003-05:00

~ This picture is...his..."little bits" confirming he is a boy! ~

One day he will be so mad at me for posting this picture!

~ Here is his little foot...he was so active throughout the ultrasound. ~

He was moving all about with his arms and his legs!

~ This is what we believe to be the first sign of an attitude. ~

We know that is not his middle finger but it does look like it, doesn't it?

~ These pics are of his little spine and torso. ~
He is perfect!

As the belly grows ~ 16 weeks, 4 days

2009-10-28T23:52:00.001-04:00

16 weeks.

2009-10-15T17:06:00.000-04:00

Not much has happened recently. I'm just expanding, lol. The coolest thing lately is that I have felt the baby move a few times. It's a rather different experience. When it first happened I was sitting on the couch in a conversation with Brit and felt this little fluttery movement in my tummy. It was so neat. I know it was the Bug because it was a feeling I have never felt before and I have felt it a few times since. It hasn't happened a lot but here and there. So very neat.

My morning sickness has almost completely gone away too. I am still getting nauseated in the evenings after dinner. But that will hopefully go away soon too. We went to get my bloodwork done yesterday and I met the rockstar of all phlebotomists! She had the needle in my arm, blood pulled and had cotton on my needlemark within 10 seconds! No kidding!! She was awesome! It was nice too because her office was in the hospital we are going to birth in. We walked around and then asked if we could possibly tour the birthing area but were given the number to call to set it up. So then we asked about the prenatal exercise classes as I am really hoping to find one to go to soon and were told to call the number again and then she told us where to find the calendar of classes available. So we went to the area to get the calendar and were told again to call the number...lol, they really push that number on you!!! So I guess I'll be calling the number, ha ha!

Other than that I am just experiencing things that are different and at times think I could give a big guy a run for his money when it comes to burps! LOL. Cole gets so grossed out but I think it's just because he cannot burp. I didn't used to be able to either so it must be a baby gift!!

14 weeks, another appointment!

2009-10-01T18:08:00.000-04:00

Today we went to see our doctor again. He is having surgery so he wanted to see us again before he went out for a month. It was pretty much the same as the last appointment. Just chit chat and once again, we heard Bug's heartbeat! Bug was pretty active today - I love it!! With all the activity I'm wondering if the baby will be a runner like his/her daddy! That little heartbeat makes me fall deeper and deeper in love everytime! This time Bugs heartbeat was 150 beats per minute. A tad bit slower than last time but as our Doctor said "A strong, healthy heartbeat!" - we were pretty happy parents. And this time he was able to get an accurate count because this time I was not crying! I held it together. That first time is something I will never forget though.

Cole talked to him about us buying a doppler and he said "No, no...they are not accurate and you will be calling me every night because you can't hear the baby!" He said they are not really worth the money so we pretty much made up our mind not to get one. We really had thought about it and did some research on them but most are for the third trimester only so really what's the point in getting one now? He said just wait for our appointments to hear Bug. So we will.

Next appointment is THE appointment! Hopefully we will find out it if Bug is Stella or Augustus. That is...if Bug wants to cooperate. We'll see.....

3 mo.

2009-09-27T01:06:00.002-04:00

13 weeks! I'm almost there....the Second Tri-mester awaits!

2009-09-25T00:19:00.001-04:00

So I made it!!! I am happy to admit that the all day sickness is fading - Glory be to God!

I hope it stays on this path and continues to fade. Though in a weird way I find it (the sickness) a bit consoling because it is the one way I know the baby is ok. As crazy as that sounds I know that as long as I feel sick it is a “good sign” because the doctor says that means the baby is growing and healthy. But I am worried about many things so I’ll just add that one to the list. It’s very unnerving being pregnant as there are so many things to really consider and think deeply about: which tests to consider/which ones to pass on, which vaccines are necessary, who will raise our baby if God forbid something happens to us both…these are just some of the pleasures of being pregnant. I am a natural worrier so of course, these are on my mind frequently.

My bump is growing and really showing. It’s nice because I do not feel like I am just looking fat - I actually look pregnant! *winks* My dad tries to re-assure me, bless his heart, and tells me that anyone who looks at me knows it's pregnancy weight. Weight has always been a worry of mine so gaining hasn’t been easy but it is necessary so I will do it. Being able to eat more will help too. Bug needs to grow and I need to make room for him/her. One thing that really stinks though is that maternity clothes are pretty plain….most have the tie in the back and just are blah. I have been fortunate enough that I have family that has helped me put off the cost of buying these wonderful clothes and they have been treating me to little shopping sprees for mommy wear. We’ve been able to find some pretty cute stuff!!

The really cute stuff though is definitely in Bugs closet. I recently purchased the “B is for Bob” onsie with Bob Marley’s picture on it - another *must have* for Bug. I’m trying to not be a “buyer” as I know we will get plenty from family and friends but sometimes it’s really hard. If I see something that I just know Bug would be perfect in - I feel like I have to buy it because if I don’t - it won’t be there when I go back. But that has only happened twice so I am not doing that bad. At least I don’t think so. I mean seriously - “B is for Bob” is one of the best cd’s I’ve heard (Cole and I both love it!) and Bug had to have the matching shirt! And to push my point even more - “B” is for Bob and that my friends is learning letters and word association. I think I’ve justified that purchase, thank you very much! ;)

Other than that, not much is happening as of late. I’m feeling random emotions and have had a few meltdown crying situations. There I was sitting in the Meijer parking lot, crying my eyes to my Aunt Debi on the phone up north in Michigan because I didn’t feel well (Welcome Fall & Fall related sinus issues!) and needed Vitamin C but couldn’t drink orange juice because Bug doesn’t like it. It’s just random. However, I have noticed that it is still really hard for me not to pick up the phone and call my Gran every time something happens. I want to call her after all of my appointments and tell her all about them because I know she would want to know and I know she would laugh at me when I have my little random moments and she would make me feel better in the way only she could. I miss her. It is supposed to get easier and it is not. It feels like its getting harder because I want her to be here. I want our baby to know and experience the amazing person she was. Now I’m crying again. See what I mean??? Random moments!

On a good note, since I am feeling better Cole and I are definitely eating better! I’m cooking more and trying new recipes again. But fruit is still my main course most days and I made this fruit dip my Gran used to make so it gives it a little extra yum! I cannot get enough! And the laundry is finally caught up. And more is getting done around the house….yay! A clean house is a happy house…ours is getting there!

Oh wait! One more thing - what is up with the lady in Indonesia scaring the crap out of all pregnant women and giving birth to a 19 lb. baby!! NINETEEN POUNDS!!!! Oh.Dear.God. please....NO!

12 week checkup!

2009-09-16T18:41:00.001-04:00

We went to see our Dr. yesterday. It was so exciting!!

We heard Bugs heartbeat for the first time. It was by far the most beautiful sound I have ever heard. I am so in love with our little bug - it is such a different kind of love than any I have ever imagined. I just lay there with this goo on my belly and Cole next to me and we both were in such awe. Our doctor counted and estimated 160 beats per minute. Some say that is fast and means girl, some say the opposite. I really don't care what the wives tales say because what I heard was my child. My little bug. His or her little heartbeat was just thumping away so perfectly and so beautifully. I am so amazed.

My Gran always said "If you ever wonder if God exists, just look into the eyes of a child." Well, I cannot see Bugs eyes yet, but I can hear bugs heart. And I know.

Decisions, Decisions...
The Nursery - First we decided if Bug was a boy we'd have the room done in Pirates. If bug was a girl, her room would be done in delicate little flowers - very Shabby Chic. Then after talking with my sister-in-law I decided maybe neutral was the way to go so we wouldn't have to re-do everything if/when we have a sceond child. So then it was Sage Green, Khaki/Taupe and light blue or light pink. I wanted to paint a dandilion (in brown) blowing in the wind....found a great pick online. Then I really started thinking about it today again and decided that idea wasn't childlike. So now I'm on to a new idea! Still the same colors but also add in a light yellow (probably Butter from Behr Paint - I just love that color!) and add some little accents of nature. Maybe fireflys, little caterpillars and such. That's todays idea. We'll see where that takes me.

We also picked out our announcements. I will not share that info though - it's a surprise! They rock!

I went home recently and visited with my family and friends and found out my friend Amber is also pregnant! She is due 6 days before I am!!! She said to me "When I found out you were pregnant too I thought 'why'd she have to move. We could have gone through this together'". So it was really nice because she and I talked about what we are experiencing right now. It is so great to have someone that is going through the exact same kinds of things I am. Everything smells, food taste different and of course...the sickness.

*Bug got a gift! His/her first pair of Ohio State Buckeye socks! First of many OSU related items, I'm sure!!Thanks Christina!!

I'm not getting fat, I'm pregnant.

2009-09-09T23:38:00.007-04:00

10 weeks, 6 days!

Thankfully for the baby, I've gained 3 pounds. I am now up to......right and you thought I'd post that!?! This will make my doctor happy. I am really trying to eat more and since he gave me the script for Phenergan it has made it a bit easier. It's funny though that some people just do not understand how long it will last for, myself included. I figured a few hours a day for a few weeks and I'd be feeling great. That was a huge misconception. So was me thinking I could do it all and still have energy left at the end of the day. Yeah right!?! I feel like I'm back in school when I could sleep in late on the weekends except now I sleep in everyday. I definitely am not feeling like "Super wife" lately. I'm cooking more convenience meals and haven't been on top of the laundry in a couple of weeks. It's getting done, just at a slower pace. It's hard to do when I feel hungover all the time. Seriously that is what I feel like - hungover with the flu added in for fun.

One issue I have found lately is cleaning products. I myself am a bleach user. It's sanitary, it smells good and gets the job done! However now I cannot do that. I cannot use my favorite cleaners in the bathroom either. So now it's just soap and water until I find something better that I can use. The scent that these cleaners give off is not healthy for the baby therefore I do not use them.

The Bionic Nose & Taste buds that no longer like anything!

Everything has a scent...everything. Rather I want to or not - I smell it. Even things that do not really have a powerful scent I can still smell them. I'm walking around the house like a drug dog just sniffing out things I do not like and throwing them away. Candles, perfumes, lotions - anything. Cole gets so frustrated!!

And food...I love Dewey's Pizza. Especially the Edgar Allen Poe - big pieces of roasted garlic, tomatoes, olives, feta cheese and much more! Cole went last week to get it for me, bless his heart, because I really wanted it. I ate 2 bites and put it down. It just didn't taste right to me. Cole ate and felt fine and couldn't understand why I didn't think it tasted good. Heck, neither could I. But it just didn't. Same thing happened with a McDonald's Cheeseburger, a Fiber One Yogurt (my absolute favorite) and my favorite mixed veggies. Lately it seems that the only thing I really want to eat is fruit. Fresh fruit. Cole makes fun because I buy the small container and then he has to go get more because I eat it all in one sitting.

I have a bump now too. And though it is not big it's still enough to prevent me from wearing my favorite jeans. Ashley taught me this cool trick with a hair rubber band and the button of my jeans but I am afraid to do it as it would be super embarrassing should that chose not to work while I'm in public! I have a few pairs of maternity pants that I bought at the Goodwill and then my AJ bought me a cute pair of maternity jeans too. By the way, the Goodwill sells Liz Lange Maternity Clothes (from Target) and Motherhood Maternity with the tags still on them from the stores. I love it! Brand new for $4.99! Can't beat that! Considering I will only wear them for such a brief amount of time I am excited to pay so little! They have some really cute stuff. And Maternity Resale shops too...love them! I buy the smaller sizes now til I need to "upgrade" to the larger sizes. For now I am proud to report my "fat pants" are a size 6. Yea! Cole says I need to just get used to the idea that I am not getting fat, I am growing because I am growing a human inside of me. Fun times.

I have another new favorite product:
Yes, Burt's Bees of course! I love this line of Mama Bee products! They are all natural, organic and smell yummy! All of Burt's Bees stuff does. I've used their products for years! The Mama Bee Belly Butter and The Peppermint Foot Cream are just amazing!!! I didn't care for the smell (yes smell - eww) of Palmer's as previously posted and my friend found me the Belly Butter at Target! We looked everywhere and it was sold out so I just new it was good and I needed it!

Next Tuesday is our next appointment. Hopefully we will hear the baby's heartbeat on the Doppler. How cool with that be???

2009-09-09T23:37:00.001-04:00

Coolest.Shirt.Ever.

2009-09-09T19:09:00.002-04:00

Cole bought this for Bug on Saturday. How adorable will this be on our little pirate baby!

My bump, my bump, my lovely baby bump!

2009-08-31T17:08:00.002-04:00

9 weeks, 3 days.

9 weeks and we have names picked!

2009-08-28T22:18:00.005-04:00

Exciting news! We've chosen names that we are sticking to! OK so I'll be honest we've had names picked out for a long time but now we've figured out the middle names too!

Girl: Stella Rose Jeanette - Stella was Cole's great grandma and Jeanette was my Gram's middle name.

Boy: Augustus Isaac - Augustus contains my maiden name "Gust" and Isaac is Cole's Papaw.

That's it, no changing them. We've made up our minds! Right? Right. Some people say you can't name a child until you see it but I'm pretty sure we love these names. Cole says even when we find out the gender (yes we are, in November) we will not call the bug by it's name - I don't know why but that's what he says. One reason he gave was that doctors make mistakes about that....I pretty sure a little who-who looks like a who-who but Cole said no so I will follow him.

One thing is for sure - the Bug will always be Bug. No matter what name we give him or her.

Today I had to fun job of explaining to Cole the purpose of a bassinet. He considers it just a waste of space but I tried to stress the convenience factor of having one. But then we both went off on a new idea of having a bed in the babies room so that I can just sleep in there. I do not know why it's even a discussion because we already have an antique bassinet we bought from my seamstress!

Yes people, we are becoming parents...pray for us, lol.

Oh something else that was super exciting is we got a beautiful swing that plays nature sounds from my Aunt Jenny. It is so beautiful and it is the colors we've chosen for the Bugs room!! And it even has little bugs on it!!!!!! Perfect! And she bought me maternity clothes and the Bug some great little clothes too! And she bought Cole some too so he didn't feel like he was loved any less! (How cute is that!) I am so in love with the "Rock your baby" t-shirt!!! It has a little guitar on it! Oh and I bought the Bug something too but Cole says it's more for him and I than the Bug...I bought: "B is for Bob" - Bob Marley's greatest hits toned down for babies! It's so awesome!!! When I first got it Cole said "Oh great, you wanna raise our baby to be a pothead!" but then he liked it too so....it's a keeper!! Yea!! Our kid will be so cool. *gives thumbs up*

Tomorrow Bug will experience his/her first country concert! How exciting. We're going to see Josh Turner. Good times! I remember mom telling me the first concert I went to in her belly was like 38 special or REO Speedwagon or something like that. =) Awesome.

Bug's gonna love music!

8 weeks!

2009-08-20T21:56:00.002-04:00

Today marks my 8th week. I am very overcome with emotion today. I am not quite sure why. I've been really stressed lately and I had a scare this week and maybe that could be it but really in my heart I knew God would take care of me, take care of us.

Seriously it was quite comical. As we sat in the car going home from the grocery I was reading my favorite book at the moment "The Pregnancy Countdown" and came to the 8th week section. I'm reading all the funny stuff about the so called "Morning Sickness" being a term created by a man even though it lasts all day and on and on. Funny stuff. But then I got to the part where it said "Your baby now has arms and hands, legs and feet and even though they are webbed, they are forming." and I just lost it!!!

I'm sitting there bawling my eyes out. Here's how that conversation went:

Cole: "What's wrong??"

Me: "Our baby has hands and feet."

Insert crazy look from Cole here.

Cole: "OK, well why are you crying?"

Me: "I don't know."

I think it's just because the bug has just been described as a "blob" for the last couple of weeks and now the bug is actually forming into a human being, right inside of me.

I think it finally hit me what kind of miracle is really occurring.

Bug doesn't like food...today.

2009-08-16T21:23:00.004-04:00

Today has been a toughie. I had some issues throughout the night and early morning. Woke and felt just terrible. It's almost like a hangover feeling with the flu added in. Heartburn, tummy ache and just tired all day. I feel like a lazy bum. I've sat (ok I pretty muched layed) here all day and watched television and messed around on the computer. B & B brought me fruit trays and chicken nuggets from McDonalds to make me feel better. The fruit trays are delicious and quite a good deal! $1.69 for apples, grapes, vanilla yogurt and walnuts. Very yummy. And Bug loved it. They brought me 2 - one for now, one for later. I ate them both within 3 hours!! They tasted good and for a small amount of time - I felt better. As soon as the apples wore off - the icky came back.

I tried to take the phenegran and it didn't seem to help today. Not sure why. Usually it does. I called mom and her first question was "What did you eat yesterday"...she helped me come to the conclusion that the Buffalo Chicken Dip probably wasn't a good decision. (Kelie makes it and it is sooo good.) She gave me some great ideas and got me laughing to feel better. Gotta love moms! So far, the crackers have been good. And soon I will attempt real food. We'll see if it helps or hurts.

We've been following Bug's growth on http://www.babycenter.com/ - every week we get a new email with the Bug's growth and what to expect that week. So neat. Cole and I get excited and always sit and read it together. This week the baby is not very attractive (it looks like chewed up gum with a tail - ewwww) but in a few weeks - it will be better. He/she has little spuds for arms and legs and eye lids! His/her heart is big and strong. If what people say is correct about morning sickness being a good thing because that means the baby is growing and doing well then our baby is a champion! Mama is not feeling good. I welcome it though if that means our little bug will be healthy and strong when he/she arrives!

On a side note - two new products I have come to love are:
- Burt's Bees Mama Bee Leg & Foot Creme - one word: AWESOME!
- Suave Cocoa Butter with Shea
I am so freaked out about stretch marks! We bought the Palmers Stretch Mark Massage Lotion and I just cannot handle the smell. It's so chemical smelling like gasoline - ewww. So the Suave was purchased to replace it and that is something I can handle. It's like a mixture of vanilla frosting and going to the beach. How could it not be just delicious! And the Burt's Bees....I just adore Burt's Bees products anyway but then add peppermint and rosemary and that delectable Burt's Bees scent - Heaven! Oh and it makes your legs and feet tingle and helps circulation. A win~win!

Our New Doctor

2009-08-11T16:08:00.003-04:00

Monday afternoon we met our new doctor, Dr. Doshi. LOVE HIM!!

I had horrible sickness on Monday. Morning sickness doesn't exist for me. It's more of an all-day sickness. Before I eat, after I eat, when I'm not eating...all the time. So I wasn't feeling great going in. The nurse was so great about it as she was trying to ask questions and I sat shaking, tears in my eyes and ready to gag. So on with the appointment. She talked to us and then took us into Dr. Doshi's office. He came in and asked us questions - just family history type stuff. He asked about morning sickness and explained some new eating habits I could take on and told me about some medications he could give me. Then came fun time - another exam!

Back into the room we go. Exam comes and goes. Cole has been so great about those. He just sits there next to me, holds my hand or strokes my arm. I think it may freak him out a little more than me. I am used to them but he obviously has never been through anything like that so of course...the jokes follow like "I wonder how much they'd charge us for a spectulum?" and how they use condoms on the ultrasound wand etc. Gotta love man humor!

Afterwards he got down to business answering all of our questions. And when I ran out of questions, he raised more to my attention. This guy was amazing! And we love that his office is all old school and he is old school in his thinking also. My favorite was "Eat what you'd like, just in moderation." Which means I can eat Feta!! Even if it's not American Pasturized Feta. Yay! I also found out that the fact that we eat alot of garlic is good for the baby!

The most important facts we learned were that seeing the babies heartbeat was absolutely one of the best things. He said that during the first tri-mester miscarraige is always an issue but once you've seen a strong heartbeat that lowers you to about a 5% chance. WOW! Thank God!

He claims there is only ONE baby in there...but they told that to my mom too and guess what!?! I was in there hiding behind Leslie. So Cole and I still have hope there's another baby in there! I know what you're thinking - WHY DO YOU WANT TWINS??? It's rather simple actually! Get it alllll done at once! 2 at the same time and then we're done! LOL.

Oh! Important fact - he gave me a script for Phenergan. I took it last night to give it a try and I was out within 15 minutes. I think I will have to break it in half or even in quarters. Hopefully I will be able to eat more now.

Before we left the office we were given presents! Lots of great presents! A diaper bag full of stuff - diapers, magazines, formula, two other small bags of formula and breast feeding info. It had a great book about breast feeding which will be very helpful!

Now we have 4 weeks until our next appointment!

Advice, Books and all that good stuff!

2009-08-07T15:14:00.003-04:00

We are going into this with our minds completely open and ready to learn! I found some really great books while at the library and so far one of my favorites is: The Pregnancy Countdown Book: Nine Months of Practical Tips, Useful Advice, and Uncensored Truths by Susan Magee and Dr. Kara Nakisbendi. What a great book! It is so straight forward and even funny!!! I also found a book for Cole. He loves it! I hear him laughing as he reads it and then he has to tell me what he just read that was so funny! It is called: The Guy's Guide to Surviving Pregnancy, Childbirth and the First Year of Fatherhood by Michael R. Crider. They have been great books for us to read! We are both thoroughly enjoying them. I'm thinking future gifts for friends and family who get pregnant! We love them!

And today Cole's Aunt Tami said something that made me feel 100% better - she said she started gaining weight right away. Which makes me feel great because I feel like a Fatty McFat Fat. I have gained some weight and figured I was just not eating right but really - I haven't been eating anything bad. However, I have been eating more because I know it is so important to do so. So far...I've learned that cabbage doesn't work out so well with my tummy and neither does Taco Bell. Which isn't very strange because Taco Bell really isn't good for anyone. Other than that - I'm good. Brushing my teeth hasn't been fun the past few days and I feel like vomiting constantly. Cole said to me today "I've noticed lately that you are on an emotional rollercoaster and you sleep alot." Sleep....I just cannot get enough! Our beagle, Ellie loves it! She loves to sleep and now she gets to sleep cuddled up with mommy all the time.

I also bought the Palmer's belly cream today (thanks for that idea Ashley!) but I do not like the way it smells. So I may be retuning it. I found out Burt's Bee's (one of my favorite brands) makes a Mama Bee Tummy Cream so I may be exchanging the Palmer's for that.

Oh! And I've been burping more than I have in my whole life!!!! God bless Tums.

Our Little Bug

2009-08-05T23:31:00.006-04:00

One cool thing we did experience is the ultrasound! We got to see the bugs heartbeat. That is by far the most amazing thing I have ever experienced. We saw our little bug all snuggly in the yoke sack and the little heartbeat just blinking so perfectly. It made it so real. As of yet all we had to go on were pictures of others peoples babies...now here we had ours.

Worst.Appointment.EVER!

2009-08-05T12:11:00.006-04:00

Cole and I had our first OB appointment today. We were really very excited! We went and did the paper work, insurance stuff etc. and were given a vibrating pod - like the ones you get when you are waiting for a table in a resturant. Right there told me this place was much bigger than I was hoping for.

So it vibrates and we go back and a nurse and student take us into a room and weigh me (we will not be posting that here!) and take my BP. Then she is asking me the usuals - "when was your last pap, your last pelvic exam" and then she says "Well, if you had a pap in January - why are you here?" I looked at her kind of questionably because I was very clear that I was coming in because I was pregnant. I told her I was pregnant and she looked at me like she was surprised. So then she says "Oh. Congratulations. I didn't look at your chart." Uhm...isn't that what I went for???????? I told them I was pregnant when I called and why wouldn't she look at the chart???

So she then takes us to a different room. She gets out all the usual "tools" and says she's not sure what the doctor will want to do. So she gives me the gown and leaves. I get undressed, get the gown on and the student nurse comes in. She tells me "You need to get dressed. We need you to do a urine test." Cole and I just looked at each other in shock. Where is the organization?? So I say to her that I haven't had an exam yet and she tells me they need to take urine. So I stand up to get dressed and the doctor comes in! The doctor asks minimal questions and says they aren't going to do a full exam since I had one in January. She just does the STD test they do on all pregnant women. Ok. Good. Fine.

The stirrups are broken and keep moving while she's doing this test so that felt great! Then I sit up and she asks if I have any questions. I do. I ask about the office itself. They have 6 doctors and 1 nurse practioner and I have to see them ALL. I cannot have one doctor. I have to see all 6 and the nurse. This is not settling well. I am learning this is somewhat common at larger practices - I wish I would have know that. I do not want my vagina to be an open door for whomever wants to come have a look, lol. I want to know my doctor.

So I ask her if she can tell me my due date. She doesn't have her "wheely thing" and tells me she will let me know when we leave. So we go out front to schedule the ultrasound as she wants me to have one. As we're waiting there (because no one brought my chart up) a woman comes and tells me I need to come back into the exam room. So we do. She needs to get blood work and a urine sample. Again, I wonder where is the organization here?

So she is getting the viles ready and begins. One of the viles falls to the floor and she has Cole pick it up for her. He does and she proceeds to use the vile that had just fallen onto the unsanitary floor!?! So.....then I go to give my urine sample they are so concerned about and I walk in and there is a stack of Dixie cups and a Sharpie!?! Again, sanitation???? But I have learned this is also common practice in some offices.

We then ask when we will talk to someone about the pregnancy - you know to learn about nutrition, the hospital etc. or whatever else we need to know and are told we have to set up a different appointment to speak to someone else about that. The ultrasounds are done somewhere else too. Cole wasn't happy that everything is done in different places, nor was I. Still we have no due date either. So we asked the nurse at the front desk to figure it for us and she did.

April 1, 2010

So pretty much we decided we are not going back. I don't know if I am just spoiled by having very personal experiences with doctors or what but this place is just not what we were looking for. So...we found a different doctor and we will be going on Monday.

Wow!

2009-08-01T23:16:00.005-04:00

I am experiencing some feelings that my mom calls "just your hormones, it's all normal"....

I am surprised at the love other children have for little ones. One of my new little friends is constantly hugging my tummy and kissing it. She talks to the baby and the other day said "I was listening to your tummy and I heard the baby giggle. The baby will be happy and laugh alot." Such knowledge for a little girl, she's 8. And even though I knew she didn't really hear the baby giggle it made me feel so good for that moment and it brought up so many thoughts...will the baby be happy? Will I be a good mom and make my baby laugh alot? Will our baby be as kind as his/her daddy? Will he/she have the hearts that we do? Will the baby have qualities like Gram even though he/she never got to meet her? Is Gram watching our baby and taking care of us? And on the subject of my Gram, this is so hard to do without her. She was my world, my best friend, my closest confindant and she isn't here now. She won't hold my baby and my baby won't know the woman that everyone loves so much. The feelings that have just come to me are amazing. I know it's so cliche' but I really am just amazed.

But on a negative, I am also very surprised by people who bring up miscarriages. No offense to anyone as I know that I have endo and I know it is probably just out of concern but it crosses my mind too and hearing about it is not what I need. I love my family and I love my friends and I know they love me but that is just not something a pregnant woman wants to hear about. There are so many other worries too. What if our baby has a disease, what if the doctors say "it's mom or the baby?", or the baby has a defective organ...there are sooo many things Cole and I are both concerned about that hearing about them from others is really not ok. It's just sad. And we're so happy right now and so focused on taking care of me and the little bug in my belly that we don't want to hear the negative. I know "Ignorance is bliss" but for just a little while - I want that.

I'm trying to eat more too and that is so...well...hard. I'm not a big eater and now I am trying to eat small meals many times a day. So I'm indulging in trail mix (good protein), water and veggies. I really don't want to end up as a "Fatty McFat Fat" while pregnant. Cole and I are going to walk every morning to get the muscles in good shape and we are focused on healthier eating for both of us. It's tough though - what to eat, what not to eat....geez!!!!

Oh, and 4 more days til we meet our new doctor! I am hoping we get an ultrasound!

Finding an OB

2009-07-30T16:22:00.002-04:00

Since my doctor is an oncologist/gynocologist, we had to find an OB. So after many suggestions from loving family and friends we decided on one.

Our first OB appointment is Wednesday! We are just too excited!

Cole is already talking to the baby. He kisses my belly at night (sometimes before me!). I've been given a new nickname "Prego" and the baby has a couple nicknames already - Little Peep and Bug. It is truly amazing how you can feel love for someone that you cannot see or touch but that you know is there, growing inside of you. I don't think I ever expected to feel this way but I know I am so happy I do. This is just amazing.

Say What?????

2009-07-30T16:04:00.004-04:00

Last week things that should have happened, didn't. You know what I mean. ;)

I decided taking a test was in my best interest because I had this feeling. I cannot explain it but it was just a feeling. So I went to the drug store and bought a test. Actually it was a 3 pack! Hey!! I am a sucker for a good deal!

I took the test. And it came back positive. It completely shocked me! I started shaking and called Cole. He came home for a quick minute and looked at the test himself. "It looks positive to me" was his response. As I stood there crying, he held me and asked why I was crying. I told him it was because this wasn't supposed to happen to us, not this easy, not this soon. And even though in my mind I knew it wasn't supposed to - I knew it just did. I wonder if my Gram was up there in Heaven with God just smiling ear to ear because she already knew....

So I took another test. I just couldn't believe it. Another positive.

The next day Cole and I decided I should take one more - just in case the others weren't right. And again, I got a positive! So I called my doctors office in Toledo and they said to come in and have the blood test done to confirm. We did. My nurses all gathered while she pulled the blood and were wishing us luck and Sandy, my main gal was just so excited! We talked about how ironic it was that just a month before she and I were talking about fertility doctors and now I am sitting there to confirm a possible pregnancy.

On Monday, July 27th Sandy called us (they rushed our results) and I heard the words I didn't think we would for a long time. "Congratulations. You are pregnant!"

God is good.

Cole and Lindsey, bb (before baby)

2009-07-30T10:35:00.012-04:00

Cole and I got married on New Year's Eve 2008. Since getting married, we've been living life and figuring out this whole married thing. Good times and a few ups and downs but no biggies. Life has been pretty good to us so far. We live with our "furry children" - Gideon, Molly and Ellie and also our "aquatic child", Eugene the Turtle. Cole works for the City and I take care of Cole.

We like hanging out with each other - playing board games, cooking, grilling, sitting by the firepit, traveling...just being together. Life for us is somewhat simple....well, kind of.

I was diagnosed with Endometriosis many years ago. (www.endometriosis.org) I've had multiple surgeries, undergone many kinds of treatments (menopause was the worst!) and taken many kinds of medications. Each of these treatments and surgeries would affect my fertility. Cole and I knew that going into our marriage babies were something we both wanted but knew we may have to seek alternative routes to make that happen.

Months ago, Cole and I decided that since all of the medications I was taking were making me sick - I should just stop. We decided what we wanted to do was give it all to God. We wanted Him to have all control over my body and my disease. So I stopped the medications (with my doctors approval). Doing this could have created a great risk for us as we were no longer depending on the medicine to prevent the tissue regrowth on my reproductive organs. Instead, we were putting our faith in something much greater, God. And God provided. He always does. I started feeling better. I wasn't in as much pain, the pain was there but not as severe. My body was getting back on track, naturally.

Last month, I went in for my usual 6 month check up - which is an improvement because they used to be every 3 months! My nurse asked me if Cole and I were "trying" and she was talking to me about fertility options and she said that when we were ready to have babies I should probably go to a fertility doctor so that it wouldn't be so hard for us. That was kind of hard to hear though I knew it was something we definately were going to have to consider. So I just let it go and went on with our plan; when God felt we were ready - we would be.