On Monday, March 29th the Dosh-Master told us that Bugs head had still not moved into the birth canal - a.k.a. he had not "dropped". He gave us 2 options: 1) we could wait one more week to see if he would or 2) I could be induced on Wednesday (March 31st). After discussing everything with him Cole and I decided to go ahead and schedule the induction. I was so scared but so excited.
On Tuesday March 30th, my mom arrived from Toledo and took me out for the day to help me relax. We then settled in for one long sleepless night. While we knew we needed the sleep Cole and I couldn't get settled enough to get any. At 4:30 we get ready to drive to the hospital. I was so nervous that I didn't even want to stop and get my cup of Timmy's because my tummy was so busy. We got to the hospital right on time at 5:30 a.m. After what felt like forever we were signed in and ready to go upstairs and get the process started. On our way down what felt like the longest hallway ever (not really a long one but I was scared so it seemed that way to me) we heard a new baby being born - thats when it all hit me. I just started tearing up and when we got into the birthing room I started crying. That's when Lisa (later refered to as Lisa #1) walked in and explained how everything would go throughout the day. She helped me get settled in and hooked me up to the IV.
~ The Process Begins ~ **Warning - it gets graphic here**
Around 7:00 a.m. Lisa #1 began the Cytotec applications. This was done to help my cervix ripen. In order for the birthing process to start the cervix has to thin out and mine was not...this is also part of the dialation process. Cytotex is a capsule placed under the cervix once every four hours. After the application, I had to lay flat for one hour and after that I could get up and walk or use the potty etc. She informed us that this was a long process and that I probably wouldn't have Bug until late that night but possibly not until the next day....saaay whhaaaat??? After the four hours she checked my cervix again and said I needed another dose. Still not much progress in the area.
Application #2 happened and the process continued. After this application - I had finally began dialating but was only at a 1. In other terms - not much at all and on to dose #3.
Application #3 happened in the afternoon. Now I had a new nurse - Lisa #2. She was going to be my nurse until the night shift nurse (Andrea) came in. At this point - everyone was tired. It had already begun to be a long day. Sitting in one room with casual walks here and there still makes you feel tired. But we kept on and hoped this application would help. The Dosh-Master came to visit and checked me to see what was happening. The answer: not much. It was 7:00 p.m. and I was only dialated to a 3. It was going to be an even longer day than we had thought.
(Andrea & Lisa #2)
He decided to break my water and start the pitocin. This is when the fun began! And I say fun being completely facetious. Because my water was broken (that is just an experience all of it's own!) and the pitocin was started this meant labor was on its way. I started feeling contractions and while they weren't too bad - they weren't a fun time either. I finally asked for some pain medication. Lisa #2 gave me a half dose of Nubain. I swear the clock was moving on the wall when she did that!! She called me a "lightweight"...it was nice to have a bit of humor in all the seriousness.
Cole stayed right next to me throughout all of the applications and all of the craziness. We had a great support team with us that day - my mom, his mom and his dad. Throughout the day we had a few visitors but at this point - I was done with visitors and asked that no one else come to the room. I even turned my phone to vibrate and tried to focus on relaxing. Turning my phone on vibrate was a huge indication that I was ready to do this and no longer wanted to chit chat with anyone. I was in pain, I was tired and I was ready to meet my boy. The contractions continued and I tried so hard to get through them without getting the epidural. I really tried so hard to breath and focus. I had 3 things with me to help me: 1) my bible verses I memorized, 2) my picture of me and my gran and 3) my music. As the evening got later and the pain got stronger I had the lights dimmed and Cole turned my music on for me. We listened to Ray Lamontagne and I breathed through each contraction as it came. Cole held my hand and just calmed me. He helped me focus on breathing and reassured me of what a great job I was doing. It was harder as the evening progressed because the simple fact was my body was not progressing in the way it needed to for me to have a vaginal birth.
Later that evening (I'm guessing 11:00 p.m. but I was medicated at this point) I asked for the epidural. I just couldn't handle it anymore. They called the anesthesiologist and she was there very quick! That was a feeling I will never forget and honestly I feel like that hurt me more than anything else. I still tear up when I think about that. It was just something I knew I needed but wish it didn't feel the way it did. The pressure and the pain in my spine just simply hurt.
As the time went by I continued to feel a very sharp pain in my abdomen. I kept saying the epidural didn't work and when they looked on the machines - I was having contractions and not feeling them so yes it did work. The pain I was in was a pain the epidural couldn't touch. I asked and received a second dose of the epidural. This still couldn't prevent that pain. The Dosh-Master came in and checked me again. My cervix was thinning out and I wasn't dialating any further. It was now decision time. I could continue for a few hours and hope to dialate or I could have a C-Section. This was a very hard decision. I was so scared to have a C-Section. I also felt as though I was giving up - it was like I was being defeated by my own body. It was so hard for me but I knew it was best for me and for Bug that I have the C-Section. The truth behind it all is that I probably never would have dialated far enough to have him vaginally because my pelvic area isn't large enough to give birth that way.
~ The Cesarean Section ~
This happened very fast...they transported me to the surgery room and took Cole to a different room so that he could change into the paper clothes. In this room - I lay flat on my back with about 5 new faces around me. Andrea (my night nurse) was with me and so was the anesthesiologist. They had me on the table and were preparing me for the spinal block. I was so afraid I would feel them cut into my body or that I would feel them pull my organs and move my insides....unrealistic but hey! I was a little freaked out right then! Cole was not allowed to be in the room yet and I was so scared without him. He always calms me and I felt alone. Andrea came to me and stood by my side. I asked her if I could hold her while they did the spinal block and she stood there next to be the whole time. It really helped. They laid me back down and then I couldn't feel anything from the chest down. It was really creepy!
They started working on my stomach and I asked for Cole. I needed him. They let him come in and he stayed right next to me. As they worked on me I kept falling asleep - the drugs were all kicked in and my body was just exhausted. Then I heard Cole crying. He said "It's our baby boy." At 1:13 a.m. on April 1st, 2010 - Augustus Isaac was born.
And then my whole world changed...not only could I ~
hear my baby boy cry...
I could see his face...
And touch his skin...
And hold him close...
And now my life will never be the same.
